Lonely.... I'm A CyberGirl

I want a dog…

Well, I just switched on Disney Channel when my niece said she wanted to see Mr. Bean TV series. She kinda has second night in a row of sleep over in my house. So, the Mr. Bean show never been ‘updated’ that we just saw the same eps all over again. One thing I like about this show is… it always felt new to me. Any jokes he made in every eps were still surprising. Or maybe it’s because I’m that forgetful?

Anyway, the eps we watched tonight was the one on his Christmas celebration. Oh come on… who can forget that one? The one when he strolled out at night to get a Christmas tree he just used a meter top of it, the street band carols he conducted, the turkey disaster and the silly gift for his girlfriend?

Somehow, I wander if I live the way Mr. Bean do, how actually do I feel inside? Lonely!

The scene which made that thought came up was when he arranged Xmas cards for himself! Every Xmas I always feel rather lonely. Mostly, I stay home and do nothing in my 5 x 5 m room. It’s a big day, once in a year celebration, big preparations, cheerful moments, and I’m alone and smile to unliving things in my bedroom. I don’t even stare at the sky. The second one was when he opened the gift he managed for his (famous) stuffed bear. I do talk to my animal dolls. For me, they’re still my childhood best friends and they’re like my pets, as I can’t have real pets now.

Why can’t I have pets? My eldest sister got this big piano in our house and that’s the most valuable thing for her. When we’re in trouble, she would choose the piano to salvage, not me. If I have pet, a dog for example, I need to be close to him when he is a baby or when he’s BIIIIGG. So it would happen IF he stays indoor. But, if he does… you know dogs, he would leave like scratches here and there. WHAT IF he leaves his scratches on THE PIANO? She would be very very berry mad. She has warned me not to have dogs or any kinds pets that would be kept indoors. She’s obviously scared that her PIANO might get hurt. Ahh…. Speaking of piano.. I want have a violin, too! I want toooo many things, I guess.

Days before the one-week national holiday, one of my bosses asked me to join her to re-watched Hachiko. However, 2^nd time watching it, it put tears on my eyes again. That time, I said again, I wanna have a dog…

Maybe, I won’t be this lonely. Being a cybergirl and all, I just got confused on the reality I’m facing. I just didn’t have someone to talk to. Or maybe, what I am saying is, someone who can understand me well when I’m sharing my feelings on some shits, who don’t judge me that easy (and whom I shouldn’t tell my family background and all the past creepy things I got to, in order to make people GET me). A dog would get me better than anyone else. Besides, I don’t need a boyfriend anymore. I would stop thinking about ‘him’, then.

Could you finally imagine ME celebrating xmas with my dog and lovely stuffed animals around?

I got to stop here. It’s 1.55 AM here and I have to give some of my bosses a training and then work, teach for exact at 12.30 PM.

Here's a clip of the scene I told you in Mr. Bean Series... Too funny to be missed!

-Reith ..and I'm only a piece of dust-